Personal

Now Playing: The Scientist

Come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry
You don’t know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I’ve set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let’s go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Oh tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it’s such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I’m going back to the start

Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ah ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh ooh ooh ooh

———————————————————————–

I’ve been listening to this song for some time and it never fails to give me this sad feeling. I miss my bestfriend. I don’t know what happened to us, day by day the gap becomes bigger. I have to admit that it’s my fault for not acting immediately. (Really stupid me for being numb :|) I find myself weird sometimes, I can freely and clearly express myself in front of people I don’t know or not that close to. But when it comes to those whom I truly care about, I tend to push them unintentionally at times. I don’t know how to express my real feelings, I tend to runaway from it (one of my friends pointed it out to me). I would just disappear elsewhere, divert myself to work or pretend that I don’t care at all (even if deep inside it hurts ><).  I’m just afraid to express my feelings, romantically or even in the context of friendship. It’s really ironic that I, the Internal Affairs Vice-President of CompSAt, the one who resolves conflicts inside the organization and maintains harmonious relationships, can’t even face my own problems. It’s sad that I can give really good advice to other people, but when it comes to myself, it seemed that the answer’s no where to be found.

I think, what I need to do is to retrace my steps. I think, it’s not yet late to bring things back to normal. Just like what the song says, I’m going back to the start…

To my bestfriend,

I am really sorry for hurting you and taking you for granted. You don’t know how hard is it to me to pretend that you don’t matter. You’re the one person that I can never really leave no matter happens. I hope that you’ll forgive me, even if it’s not now. I love you. 😦

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