Ateneo

On Feelings.

“The reason why there are immoral people is that they rely too much on their feelings instead of reason. Feelings are notoriously unstable.” – (Que, 2011)

Taking Fr. Nemesio Que as my Philo104 professor was a good choice. 🙂 I learned a lot of things from him regarding ethics even if it’s just our second day. He presented a case where in a virtue should be chosen over another one. Here’s the case: A guy woke up one day, he realized that he doesn’t love his girlfriend anymore. He was going to break up with her but a severe illness hit her father. He told himself that he’ll wait for the right time to tell her. The problem was, the father was sick for a very long time. The guy didn’t know whether to choose honesty to himself over compassion for the girl.

This situation made me think: What if I were in the guy’s place? I think I would choose the first one. I’m just going to keep what I feel to myself. I rather hurt myself than to hurt other people in the process. I realized that I’m a really great liar. I feel bad that I can actually do that to myself: Ignoring my own feelings and think of other people’s feelings. XD Well that’s also the main reason why I don’t get mad. Taking a look at the past, I can say that I’ve never been mad before to anybody. The closest thing to it was like years ago. A blockmate of mine insulted something I did, I really got pissed off. I did not talk to him for almost a year. Whenever I see him, I would just pass by him as if he didn’t exist at all. (That’s how evil I am so don’t try to make me mad) But eventually, the two of us were able to talk, and now we’re really close friends. \:D/ I handle negative feelings through crying, whenever someone hurt me or did something that I don’t like I just cry. I let the tears flow to wash the initial shock and pain instead of letting words slip through my mouth. It’ll just worsen the situation and I know that if sharpness of words can kill, I think a lot of people are already on their knees, bleeding and asking for my forgiveness… >:) Well, I’m glad I did not turned out to be that kind of person. I’m more on the passive side of the spectrum. 😀

Going back to the philosophy case, the right thing to do there was to talk to the girl and tell her the truth. You must wait for the right time (weeks later), at the right place (away from the father) and the right way to say it.

At the end of the day, I made a mental note to myself:

Joyce Rada, pleas e be honest to yourself D:<

As of now, I want to be honest with myself as much as possible. Until now, I know to myself that I’ve been denying something ever since. I think I like someone but then again, I tell myself that I don’t. To the point that it makes it real at times. *reallyreallyconfusedrightnow* 😐

Well, I do hope that I’ll be able to express what I really feel… someday. 😀

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